Dear First Time Moms, We Hear You; a letter from a mama who’s been there, done that.

Dear First Time Mama,

I get it. I one hundred percent do. You were just handed a new life and now suddenly everyone you know is an expert on just what to do with it. And that makes you start to question everything you thought you knew in this world. Are they right? Am I right? Maybe I should do what Great Aunt Brenda says to do because my way might scar my baby for life and surely she knows what she’s talking about because if you ask her, “they turned out fine.” And you know what? It never stops. It doesn’t matter if the kid is 5 minutes old or 15 years. Someone else surely thinks they know what they are doing better than you. Now I’m not saying all advice is bad, because I obviously know what I’m doing. (kidding) There is some great knowledge out there in the mama community. But the advice that makes you feel like you don’t know anything, or the advice you didn’t ask for that makes you question everything, FORGET IT. Take it with the grain of salt that it is. Currently, my 2 year old is set to turn 3 in less than a month, and he *gasp* is NOT potty trained. Now you ask anyone who knows everything, and surely this boy should be wearing underwear and not peeing his bed because his Great Uncle Sam didn’t do it and all I have to do is whatever advice someone gives me next. But you know what? He’s flat out just not ready. He’s not. We tried and as a mom who’s been there FOUR times now, I know that no matter how bad I no longer want to change diapers, because 8 years seems like torture, he isn’t ready. I actually got a great piece of advice a long time ago that shaped the way I parent when I asked the pediatrician about why she wasn’t worried about something that clearly every parenting book told me I should be worried about. The advice was this, “(insert kids name) will not go to kindergarten in (insert problem).” Ya’ll. BEST ADVICE I ever got and exactly what I needed. Is my second grader still in diapers? Nope. So obviously I need not worry about her brother being 2 and still wearing them. They say when you give birth, a maternal instinct takes over, and take this with a grain of salt, but I believe it does. YOU know best for that baby/toddler/kid/teenager. YOU. You make the decisions that shape your household and works best for you. You don’t want to cook tonight because you literally don’t have it in you after not sleeping last night because of a cranky baby? Don’t. Go through that drive thru so you don’t lose your mind. I don’t care if someone says you shouldn’t. You do you. You want a break from that demanding toddler? Turn on that cartoon. They’ll be happier because of it, and so will you. Life isn’t perfect, and neither are we. And beating ourselves up over it, will only make it harder. So first time mama, we hear you, and we got your back.

Signed,

Every Veteran Mama out there who’s either in the thick of it themselves, or has been there done that. YOU GOT THIS MAMA!!!!

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